Thursday, January 29, 2009


Born an individual............will die an individual. Isn't it? But in the middle of both these acts we tread a long path, a path strewn with many relationships, some we choose, some we are gifted with and probably some we are loaded with. These bitter sweet relationships make what our life is or is it the other way round? At times we do not even realize while bridging the gap from one to the other.......leaving some unfinished, some open ended, some sealed for a lifetime, some made to be forgotten........that at times in the process of juggling all these we forget the individual within us.

No, no wait now this is not what I had intended to write about and this is not an agony aunt column on relationships. What I do want to write here is about the one constant question that is a package deal of any introduction. 'So are you seeing someone?' At times I really want to reply back: 'Yeah I have two eyes and I am seeing the whole world.' (This is only when I am not in the right frame of my cheerful personality :P) Why such a strong reaction to such an innocent question? With all due respect to the people who question, this is not an innocent question. This question is a vicious circle because this is the cause to the miseries of many people who are happy and absolutely fine with their single status.

Living in a very well connected fast moving world where the relationship status from being single to committed to engaged and back to single is a regular phenomenon, ideally this question should not matter much. But that is not the case, it has a chain reaction to a lot of other issues. Now with the advent and proliferation of social networking sites the relationship status on the profile is the first indication of what is going on your life. Next when you manage to bump into old friends or acquaintances or far off relatives online, the next very obvious question other than ‘wassup’ ‘where r u these days?’ is the most pivotal question ‘So are you seeing someone?’ A ‘no’ to this question is almost unacceptable to most people. ‘So how is it you are not seeing someone?’ ‘Come on out with the truth’ ‘Staying away and with an active social life I’m sure there must be guys in your life’ NO, NO, NO and a bigger NO I do not wish to answer any. I refuse to be glared strangely with the weird query ‘how come you have never been in a relationship?’ I utterly disgust being told in sympathetic terms ‘I’m sure you’ll meet the man of your dreams soon.’ Sorry, I am not waiting for any Prince Charming to come and sweep me off my feet.

At times, I wonder are we part of that so called progressive world or have we successfully managed to wear a garb of modernism to cover the thick layer of hypocrisy surrounding us. Yes, we are modern, now we can openly talk about gays with Bollywood movies being made on this taboo topic, but yes we know it exists but we are not aware of any in our circle. We are aware that safe sex is a campaign driven by the government and NGOs but we cannot avoid flipping the TV channel when an ad of the same campaign shows up. We know that a girl has similar if not better career opportunities yet she is not considered settled in life if she is earning her own livelihood and living life on her own terms. We accept all those celebrated terms of women independence and liberalization but after a certain age a girl has to get married………Yeah absolutely right and we are living in a modern, liberal society……Jai Ho!

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